长句停顿(长句译文评析)

发布日期:2024-12-22 03:10:16     作者:鈕要乖     手机:https://m.xinb2b.cn/sport/bby450419.html     违规举报

自新冠疫情爆发以来,各行各业有无数的人参加了抗疫,各种媒体也对抗疫一线的战士进行报道。当然也不乏英文报道。下面我们看一段有关疫情报道的汉译英。

从白衣天使到人民子弟兵,从科研人员到社区工作者,从志愿者到工程建设者,从古稀老人到“90 后”、“00 后”青年一代,无数人以生命赴使命、用挚爱护苍生,将涓滴之力汇聚成磅礴伟力,构筑起守护生命的铜墙铁壁。


From medical workers to the people’s army, from scientific researchers to community workers, from volunteers to those who built the projects, from seniors to youths born after the 1990s and 2000s, numerous people fulfilled their missions at the cost of their lives and protected humanity with sincere love. They pooled their drops of strength into tremendous power and built an iron wall to safeguard lives.

看到上面的原文和译文后,我们的感觉就是,译文是完全按照原文的顺序进行翻译的。汉语的“从白衣天使到人民子弟兵,从科研人员到社区工作者,从志愿者到工程建设者,从古稀老人到“90 后”、“00 后”青年一代”其实是讲的后面的“无数人”,只不过是具体列举出来了,而且用了“从……到”from…to就不是很合适了。

我们不妨把 “从白衣天使到人民子弟兵,从科研人员到社区工作者,从志愿者到工程建设者,从古稀老人到“90 后”、“00 后”青年一代,无数人”翻译成同位语做主语:All of you, medical workers, military personnel, researchers, community workers, volunteers, construction workers, the elderly and young people born in the 1990s and 2000s,这样更符合英语的表达习惯。


根据上下文表达,我们能看出,这些人在国家和百姓需要他们的时候挺身而出,因此,我们可以先把这层意思翻译出来,即,用英语的短语rise to the occasion(挺身而出)来表达,作为一种概述,翻译成一个单独的句子。

原句中的“以生命赴使命、用挚爱护苍生”可以翻译成另外一个句子:With dedication and love, countless people fulfilled their sacred mission of protecting life.

后半句“将涓滴之力汇聚成磅礴伟力,构筑起守护生命的铜墙铁壁”直译成上面译文的一个句子也可以,但生动性不足,表达不透彻。这句前面的意思是每个人都贡献微薄之力,但这个力量是非常重要的,因为每个个体的微小力量汇集到一起才形成了伟力,才是铜墙铁壁。所以,我们可以把原译文改成两个小句,第一句表达每个人的付出的重要:Every individual effort counted.,然后再翻译后半部分:Together, we formed a mighty and ironclad defense against the virus.这个译文要比原译文好的原因还有,它用上了virus(病毒)一词,让译文读者知道是在描述抗击疫情。这样,我们就把原译文的两句译文改成了下面的四句话译文:

All of you, medical workers, military personnel, researchers, community

workers, volunteers, construction workers, the elderly and young people born in the 1990s and 2000s, rose to the occasion. With dedication and love, countless people fulfilled their sacred mission of protecting life. Every individual effort counted. Together, we formed a mighty and ironclad defense against the virus.

 
 
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